cosas

1. I don’t know how to do this.
2. I don’t want to do this.
3. I keep trying, half-assedly, because I have to, right?
4. And I get someplace—I got someplace—but there’s this plateau, right?
5. So I’m on this plateau, and there’s really no sign of anything beyond it.
6. I keep looking forward to these little landmarks, but as I pass them I realize I’m still in the same place.
7. And I’m never home, and it’s all blurring by, and three weeks ago feels like two months.
8. But then, if I look back a full month, it feels like no time has passed.
9. What now?

(The Mynabirds - “Ways of Looking”)